Navigating Back to School Tech: Advice from a Family Therapist

The lazy days of summer seem to be fading into a distant memory, but what remains is the constant use of cell phones by our kids. Summer is a time of freedom and a time to decompress from the rigor of the school year. Many parents relax their boundaries around device use over the summer, but this may come back to bite you in the butt when summer ends and it's time to buckle back up and hit the books. Those feel-good chemicals that kids get from devices and social media use are flowing freely and now they are expected to do without. This is the perfect recipe for disaster.

At the same time, once class is back in session, teachers and school administrators actually create even more reasons for kids to log onto phones and laptops by requiring use of online portals, text notifications and email for assignments, grade posting and student collaboration. 

Re-establish device usage expectations and boundaries

This may leave parents feeling overwhelmed to try and manage it all. There is a solution, however. It’s just a matter of reestablishing school year device usage boundaries but also building in some flexibility to interact in the way the teachers have required. There may need to be some additional monitoring or ground rules set because if your child is online for school purposes, it is very likely the temptation to wander will be there. Be clear on the expectations and the consequences if crossing those boundaries occur. Our teens are bombarded with many temptations, so guide your child so that they can learn the proper time and place for the use of technology. The Pinwheel phone helps with this because parents can limit exposure and use of certain apps during specific times of day. 

Keep school in the loop

On the other hand, kids might feel embarrassed about their limitations, so be prepared to have some flexibility as your child matures and shows they can be responsible with device and social media use. Encourage your child to communicate with their teachers about it all, and you might be surprised to find that they are willing to be flexible as well. Keep and open dialogue with your child about your boundaries and as they show responsibility more leeway can be given. 

Set yourself up for success on the next extended school break

And one more thing: keep an eye toward next summer and any extended school breaks during the year. Just because summer and other breaks provide time for relaxation, does not mean the boundaries around device use should be relaxed. Hard to do, but it can be done. Give your kids some time to use their devices, but also carve out a lot of time together and face to face interactions with friends and family. Keep the kids involved in outdoor activities so that they are not indoors all day with their faces buried in their phones. There might be some resistance, but it is easier to have clear boundaries than to have to pull back later when school resumes.  

Overall, take a deep breath and know that you are not alone as many parents are dealing with the same issues.