Today, teens spend significant time online, building friendships, sharing milestones, and expressing their personalities through social media. But beneath these positive interactions, there’s a real risk that too few parents know about: sextortion.
This form of online exploitation can be devastating for young people, creating intense emotional turmoil and fear. Understanding what sextortion is and how to protect your teen from it is crucial for every parent in the digital age.
Sextortion occurs when an individual online—often posing as a peer or someone trustworthy—coerces a young person into sharing personal or explicit content, such as photos or videos. Once they obtain these images, they use them as leverage, threatening to share them with friends, family, or even the public unless the teen complies with their demands. These demands can range from sending additional explicit content to providing money or performing other online tasks. What makes sextortion especially dangerous is the shame and fear it instills, often making victims reluctant to reach out for help.
The anonymity of social media and messaging platforms gives predators countless ways to connect with young people. They may build trust slowly, over time, to lull a young person into a false sense of security, or use fake profiles to impersonate someone around the teen’s age. In some cases, sextortion happens quickly, with perpetrators pressuring teens in just one or two interactions to share something personal or explicit.
How Sextortion Impacts Teens
The psychological toll of sextortion is severe. Many teens caught in this situation feel isolated, ashamed, and afraid. The secrecy often compounds these feelings, with teens thinking they have nowhere to turn, as their fear of judgment from family and friends overrides the impulse to seek support. This level of distress can lead to anxiety, depression, and, in extreme cases, even self-harm.
For parents, understanding these risks and fostering an environment where your teen feels safe to come to you with anything is essential. Prevention starts with open communication and active involvement in your child’s digital life.
The most powerful tool you have as a parent is the relationship you build with your teen, one based on trust and openness. Talk with your teen about the internet’s positive and negative sides without focusing solely on fear-based messages. Instead, let them know that while most people online are who they say they are, a small percentage use platforms to exploit others. By framing it as a rare but important reality, you’re giving them the information they need without overwhelming them.
Encourage them to come to you if they ever encounter anything online that makes them uncomfortable, whether it’s a request for personal information, a questionable friendship, or someone making them feel uneasy. Stress that you won’t punish them for reaching out but will instead listen and work together on a solution.
Empowering teens to recognize and resist manipulation tactics online can give them an extra layer of protection. Teach your teen to watch for phrases that are often used to coerce, like “If you really cared about me, you’d do this.” These subtle pressure tactics are common in manipulation, and helping your teen spot them allows them to see through the control tactics used by bad actors.
Also, it’s essential to remind them they can—and should—say “no” if they’re asked to share anything that feels personal or private. Giving teens the confidence to set these boundaries is invaluable. Remind them that real friends will respect these boundaries and that no one online should ever pressure them into sharing something they’re uncomfortable with.
Technology can be a helpful ally in protecting your teen online, especially when it promotes healthy usage without feeling invasive. Pinwheel phones, for instance, are designed with a child’s developmental well-being in mind, offering parents the ability to be involved in their teen’s digital life while respecting their independence. Such tools help create a balance where both you and your teen feel empowered and aware, reducing the risk of them engaging with individuals who may not have their best interests at heart.
Staying informed as a parent is vital. The more you understand about sextortion and other online risks, the better you’ll be able to support and guide your teen. Resources like Pinwheel’s blog, community forums, and other trusted parenting platforms can offer insights and practical advice for navigating the complexities of raising teens in a digital-first world.
If your child finds themselves in a sextortion situation, the most important response is to remain calm and supportive. Start by reassuring them that they aren’t alone and that together you’ll take steps to address the situation. Avoid blaming or reacting with shock—your response will set the tone for how comfortable your teen feels throughout the process.
First, encourage your teen to stop all communication with the individual, blocking them on every platform if possible. Next, document any evidence of the threat, such as screenshots or messages, which can be shared with local authorities or reported through resources like the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Remember, seeking professional support—whether through a counselor or therapist—can also be beneficial in helping your teen process their experience.
In today’s digital landscape, sextortion and other online dangers are a reality that parents can’t afford to ignore. By fostering open, honest communication, empowering your teen to recognize manipulation, and using technology designed to nurture healthy relationships with digital spaces, you’re equipping your teen to navigate the online world with confidence and security.
To learn more about how to have these conversations and keep your teen safe online, visit our blog for more insights and resources. Building a safe online experience for your family is possible, and it starts with awareness, support, and the right tools.